Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Thank You Note for the humble host.

I think i am late.

I mean everyone has come already. Dont believe? Look here, here and there.

Where is mine? AM I IN DEEP TROUBLE? How cum i havent cum yet?

And no, its not my period or my girlfriend's period i am talking about. Nor a problem with my manhood.

---

Now in my own attempt to make it as dirty as our conversations that night, this shall be my take on the invite for a "SIMPLE" dinner. *Sometimes i wonder what is his definition of simple especially his ENGLAND is always so powderful.

Apparently when one mention the word 'Nasi Lemak', we think of it as the unofficial national dish of Malaysia, proudly made famous and served by our humble halal fellow comrades. Just looking at the black and white picture gives you a feel of how long it has been in existence.

Apparently, one of them rioted and proceeded to make it as obscene and as unhalal as it could be. How? The same comrade then decided to dress nasi lemak like a dish fit for a michelin star restaurant; with exotic malaysian jungle beans, convulvus (whatever that means) and questionably organic harvested groundnuts. Along with the most tongue numbing sambal that would cause the Michelin reviewers to faint, nasi lemak has never sinfully tasted so good with ROAST PORK.

Siu Yuk..Thou shall not haunt me..

Fragrant rice with milk from the young coconut..

The Heavenly Kings of Beans and alike.

The naive looking but desperately dirty name vegetable.

Tempeh..


When you thought a simple dinner would consist of only Nasi Lemak; we were more then happy to embrace it with flowing red wine. Unfortunately, this host has a fetish of treating his house like a Michelin restaurant; thus a degustation menu was always on the card. That meant my Nasi Lemak being dissected to several courses and a few more courses to boot.

To rewind; a variety of cheeses that HIS KIDS WOULD FINISH OFF. How thoughtful of the chef? Did he not think we would finish everything off?

The evil looking trident fork was ready to pierce through the roast lamb with a vengeance. It was a miracle to find whole garlic pieces stuffed right in the middle of the leg. Apparently, deep slits and abit of poking does the trick; i wonder what HE used to poke the garlic in. Tabbouleh was served next to it which was inspired heavily by a herb or person; is the rhyming lemongrass a human or grass?

With any michelin star restaurant; we cant be as barbaric to be tearing pieces of lamb from the leg and chewing on it like a caveman. Things have to be plated nicely and with "taste".

To finish off with chicken pie, is as blissful as finishing sex with an orgasm (not quoted from me obviously)

Just when about the courses seem to come to an end, like any high end restaurants, a tasting dessert platter is compulsory

Tiramisu served with a bottle of liquor, hmm i cant decide, liquor or cake?

Jackfruit, passionfruit and strawberries pavlova, whats next? Durian and apples?

At this point, the master chef was sweating like he just came out from the sauna, shivering to know whether his menu would make the standards of the fat blob Michelin. Would two desserts be enough? Well, the reviewers wouldnt know if he sub-contracted it right?

So he did; get the best from the best, from the Just Heavenly Boys (Men, rather).

Apparently, mango and basil goes well with meringues too.

Profiteroles as a cleanser.

And as finally i reached the end of the degustation menu with "tai chow" portions; intoxicated with dirty jokes that will require my hourly cleansing of the ear, food to be digested for the rest of the week and well worked jaw muscles from laughing, i bid farewell and ask for sleep.

Definitely a simple degustation menu that i shall want to revisit.

Thank You for all the laughter and food. If i had to give a verdict, this would definitely be 5 stars out of 5 stars.

PS: Err, when are your parents going for holiday again?

23 comments:

with a pinch of love said...

DE - LI - CIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yum!!

Lyrical Lemongrass said...

Grass?!?!

The pav was beautifully decorated, if I may say so.

The food's always great at FBB's. Too bad you couldn't last the night, hor.

ling239 said...

the roast lamb must be real good....^_^

mh said...

OMG Joe...where/how in the world do you get invited??????? i want the food...hahaha...recognised the lovely pavlova (FBB"s)..love his page too!

sigh...

CUMI & CIKI said...

great blog.. and lets hope everyone gets to experience chicken pie like you do.. .it'l put a smile on many faces... lol ;P

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

with a pinch of love: hehehe..yup!

ll: err how could i forget to compliment the dafty hands of the decorator..

ling239: goood...goood...

mh: well its a dark secret..if i tell you..i need to kill u...oops!

c&c: chicken pie? me? ohh noo noo..but i wouldnt mind experiencing it..

Nic (KHKL) said...

a spread with convulvus that maketh many a man (and woman) climax...excellent!

Tummythoz said...

Nasi lemak with siew-yok. *pengsan*

JenniJane said...

cum is the wrong word.. haha anyway, great food!!

fatboybakes said...

guffaw nipples, that was a hilariously well written post, i am honored. you have redeemed yourself for not lasting past 10pm. you forgot to credit the Just Heavenly Baker Boys for the last two desserts. if were to rate this post, it would be a 5/5.

ai wei said...

u hv tempeh too?! i like this but this seems hard to get, is it?!

mh said...

fine...fine. I shall not ask anymore, am currently way overweight anyway..(or the more accurate term : Obese !!) HORROR!!

Keep up the posts!! Reading food blog won't make me fat (but make me feel hungry).

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

nic: thou shall come back to KL and enjoy a spread like this la haha..

tummythoz: apparently thats wat happened that nite when i saw my bed..

jennijane: haha..the 'cum' was on purpose..insider joke i suppose..

fbb: arr...yes...the boys..i shall amend it to be a battle of the desserts..

ai wei: well it was infront of my face..no questions asked..

mh: hahahahaha...dont worry..i m goin on a fattening exercise nxt wk..

Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy said...

Aiyo only you could turn kangkung into a dirty word! ;-) hehehehe

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

a&n: well i didnt start it 1st!

tigerfish said...

Where are the chocolate profiteroles? I have something abt SIu Yok that I need to post soon...kekekekekk

Again, I would like to say - you guys are lucky!

Big Boys Oven said...

definitly looks good. What a great feast!

Hazza said...

This is a combo that would fit into anyone's taste! What a variety, although I am doubtful if they would all go together well, imo.

JOjo said...

Initially i was thinking, *nasi lemak + siew york + red wine = ???" Err... Then i saw the lamb and the cheese!
And the glory of dessert,haha!

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

tigerfish: i shall wait for ur siu yoke post..

bbo: great is an understatement

hazza: you would be shocked as i am..

jojo: well its the beauty of food..no discrimination

fatboybakes said...

eh, nipples, check out kenny mah's blog, there's a woman there who's got the hots for you la.

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

fbb: hahahah i rushed there d..cant believe my eyes lar..wonder how "she" looks like now..kekeke..better dun say so much..the Girlfriend reads this once in awhile

daphne said...

What a teaser. I like the spread of desserts best!